I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
