how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
