First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
