R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
