new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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