my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
