I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
