I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
