I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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