Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm passing your future prison.
He passed out mid-signature
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
