so explain again why im purple
no
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
