Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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