Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize