If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
