I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
