True but thats because hes a fetus.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
