our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am naked and annoyed.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
