the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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