i jhust puked up my retainher.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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