We won't sleep together?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
