47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
