she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
