finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
