i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
