You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
