Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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