Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
