I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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