i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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