Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't think brook has ever known best
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize