I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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