how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
