i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
