I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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