While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
