Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
