Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
