It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize