I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
