idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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