He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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