I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
