Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
do herpes really smell.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
