I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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