and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
