Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We need a shit load of segways right now
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
