That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
