Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
