i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
