Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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