I love black thongs
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize