Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
