talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
