the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
