you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
