I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
