Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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