Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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