I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
