So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just invented taco cereal.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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