You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
