How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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