we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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