You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
