Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
