The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize