Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
