i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
