On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
