I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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