I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
