C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
