if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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