feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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