"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
