i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
