I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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