Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
40s are totally the cure
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
